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We're Not in Kansas Anymore
Using the Word of God, The Enneagram,
and Neurobiology to Find your Road to Inner Healing
Noell Hammer
Table of Content
ONE Behind the Curtain
TWO Follow the Yellow Brick Road
THREE Melts in your Mouth
FOUR On the Road Again
FIVE Core Motivations: Blue and Red
SIX Core Motivations: Brown and Yellow
SEVEN Don't Stay Stuck
Note to mobile readers:
If you are reading this course on your phone, the paragraphs may not load in order. I suggest you use a tablet or laptop. I am working to correct the problem, thank you for understanding. Noell
If you are reading this course on your phone, the paragraphs may not load in order. I suggest you use a tablet or laptop. I am working to correct the problem, thank you for understanding. Noell
“Every human has four endowments; self-awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom. The power to choose, to respond, to change.”
Stephen Covey
Lesson ONE Behind the Curtain
"Pay no attention..."
Nearly everyone remembers the 1939 movie, The Wizard of Oz since it holds the record for being played annually on TV for 25 years.
So when when I mention Toto pulling back the curtain and exposing the real man behind the smoke and mirrors, most people can almost hear the desperation in his voice as he jerks at the contols and cries, Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!"
In an instant, everything Dorothy and her friends thought they knew about an All Powerful Wizard who could fulfill all their wishes was gone in a puff of green smoke.
It was all a LIE. No home, no brain, no courage, no heart...just an elaborate con.
But friend, it doesn't just happen in the movies. Many of us, yes, even Christian folk, believe and act on lies every day without even knowing it.
The Apostle Paul nailed it when he wrote:
" I do not undertand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."
Romans 7:15
We're going to take a journey through this Land of fake-believe, explore how we got there, dig deep into some murky depths and hopefully pull back the curtain on the grand illusionist, the Father of Lies. Ready to take your first step on the road to freedom?
Nearly everyone remembers the 1939 movie, The Wizard of Oz since it holds the record for being played annually on TV for 25 years.
So when when I mention Toto pulling back the curtain and exposing the real man behind the smoke and mirrors, most people can almost hear the desperation in his voice as he jerks at the contols and cries, Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!"
In an instant, everything Dorothy and her friends thought they knew about an All Powerful Wizard who could fulfill all their wishes was gone in a puff of green smoke.
It was all a LIE. No home, no brain, no courage, no heart...just an elaborate con.
But friend, it doesn't just happen in the movies. Many of us, yes, even Christian folk, believe and act on lies every day without even knowing it.
The Apostle Paul nailed it when he wrote:
" I do not undertand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."
Romans 7:15
We're going to take a journey through this Land of fake-believe, explore how we got there, dig deep into some murky depths and hopefully pull back the curtain on the grand illusionist, the Father of Lies. Ready to take your first step on the road to freedom?
Where Troubles Melt like Lemon Drops...
This is the story of my rather bumpy journey. It began where our girl Dorothy started and that's in our allegorical Kansas, meaning without a clue.
When I finally woke up and went looking for answers, I stepped from my sepia colored confusion into a Technicolor world where the rules had changed: what I thought I knew about life was turned upside down. Welcome to Oz.
Over the Rainbow:
Picture it: Lahaina, Maui 1974
Starry eyed, swept away with the romance, convinced I'd met my soulmate, on a beach near Lahaina, I said yes to a guy that I'd never officially dated. We had been college friends and he was there on vacation. It seemed to me to be a scene right out of a Rom-Com. "Love at First Sight" That was actually about right, it was complete fiction, and I was the screenwriter.
There was no happily ever after. I spent 40 years, confused, controlled and emotionally abused by a narcissist who knew how to leave bruises that didn't show. Yet, I stayed, kept the secret that he was gay and meekly took him back after multiple homosexual affairs. I was the KEEPER of the LIE. I kept the family together, we went to church, I put on a happy face. To the world, we were the perfect Christian couple.
Then the tornado happened. At age 62, he found his "soulmate," a 25 year old boy and he asked me for a divorce. My beautiful happy family LIE was blown apart in a very dramatic and public way.
Then, over the next six years, I made the same mistake not once, but twice: marrying three months after the ink was dry on the divorce papers to another narcisstist, who was stalking widows on a Christian dating site. He was disabled and needed someone to take care of him and his elderly mother.
When he was killed suddenly in an accident I found out he had been lying about who he was and in what I can only call a passive agressive rage, relocated his mother to his sister and went back online, which I must have considered a type of online shopping.
Within six months, I met and married another narcissist. Fast forward two years, and much heartache later, he died of cancer of the brain in a horrific slide into madness.
So much drama and trauma left me in tatters, and made me wonder where God was in all of this? I had been both faithful and forgiving to all three of them. Isn't that what God wanted me to do? But why did I make such STUPID decisions?
The answer is the same reason Dorothy and her buddies stayed the course on the yellow brick road: LIES.
This is the story of my rather bumpy journey. It began where our girl Dorothy started and that's in our allegorical Kansas, meaning without a clue.
When I finally woke up and went looking for answers, I stepped from my sepia colored confusion into a Technicolor world where the rules had changed: what I thought I knew about life was turned upside down. Welcome to Oz.
Over the Rainbow:
Picture it: Lahaina, Maui 1974
Starry eyed, swept away with the romance, convinced I'd met my soulmate, on a beach near Lahaina, I said yes to a guy that I'd never officially dated. We had been college friends and he was there on vacation. It seemed to me to be a scene right out of a Rom-Com. "Love at First Sight" That was actually about right, it was complete fiction, and I was the screenwriter.
There was no happily ever after. I spent 40 years, confused, controlled and emotionally abused by a narcissist who knew how to leave bruises that didn't show. Yet, I stayed, kept the secret that he was gay and meekly took him back after multiple homosexual affairs. I was the KEEPER of the LIE. I kept the family together, we went to church, I put on a happy face. To the world, we were the perfect Christian couple.
Then the tornado happened. At age 62, he found his "soulmate," a 25 year old boy and he asked me for a divorce. My beautiful happy family LIE was blown apart in a very dramatic and public way.
Then, over the next six years, I made the same mistake not once, but twice: marrying three months after the ink was dry on the divorce papers to another narcisstist, who was stalking widows on a Christian dating site. He was disabled and needed someone to take care of him and his elderly mother.
When he was killed suddenly in an accident I found out he had been lying about who he was and in what I can only call a passive agressive rage, relocated his mother to his sister and went back online, which I must have considered a type of online shopping.
Within six months, I met and married another narcissist. Fast forward two years, and much heartache later, he died of cancer of the brain in a horrific slide into madness.
So much drama and trauma left me in tatters, and made me wonder where God was in all of this? I had been both faithful and forgiving to all three of them. Isn't that what God wanted me to do? But why did I make such STUPID decisions?
The answer is the same reason Dorothy and her buddies stayed the course on the yellow brick road: LIES.
What Lies Beneath...
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And where did those LIES hide from me all those years? In a scary place called the UNconscious mind. I had to do a little research about that. According to Dr. Caroline Leaf, a Neuroscientist and Communications Pathologist, the brain and the mind aren't the same thing. The mind uses the brain. |
The brain is the center of the nervous system, coordinating movement thoughts and feelings. The mind is a stream of nonconscious and conscious activity when we're awake and unconscious activity when we sleep.
Did you know our brain operates on three levels? (I didn't either.)
Conscious mind– defines all thoughts and actions within our awareness. For example, the beauty and smell of a rose or when I stub my toe, I know about it!
SUBconscious mind – defines all reactions and actions we CAN be aware of, IF we think about them. For example, our ability to drive a car: once we learn, we stop thinking about every detail and it becomes automatic. Yet you can become aware of what you are doing, anytime you chose to think about it.
UNconscious mind- defines and stores all past events and memories. Some of this data is inaccessible to you no matter how hard you try to recall it. For example, try to remember saying your first word or how it felt to walk on your own. It's there, just not available for download. The unconscious mind also stores your beliefs concerning the collected data. It is your guidance system. It is constantly storing information from all the senses, plus monitoring for danger and opportunities.
Did you know our brain operates on three levels? (I didn't either.)
Conscious mind– defines all thoughts and actions within our awareness. For example, the beauty and smell of a rose or when I stub my toe, I know about it!
SUBconscious mind – defines all reactions and actions we CAN be aware of, IF we think about them. For example, our ability to drive a car: once we learn, we stop thinking about every detail and it becomes automatic. Yet you can become aware of what you are doing, anytime you chose to think about it.
UNconscious mind- defines and stores all past events and memories. Some of this data is inaccessible to you no matter how hard you try to recall it. For example, try to remember saying your first word or how it felt to walk on your own. It's there, just not available for download. The unconscious mind also stores your beliefs concerning the collected data. It is your guidance system. It is constantly storing information from all the senses, plus monitoring for danger and opportunities.
The Recipe that is YOU
How did all the ingredients end up becoming you?
Are you your personality? Or is that just the persona or the mask you show the world? Are you born with it? Or is something you slip into, like a Halloween costume?
Let's ask Google:
"Personality is the sum collection of all life experiences that have contributed to us being a one of a kind individual. Personality is broad and includes our persona, our character, our emotional defenses, our likes, wants and fears, our cognition, and our memories. Thus, by definition, personality is not completely innate; personality develops."
"What's COGNITION?"
I had to look that up too. The dictionary defined it as " the process of acquiring knowledge and understanding through thought, experience and the senses." That sounded suspiciously a lot like the work of our hunter/gatherer, the unconscience. So that's where the rabbit trail took me:
"The unconscious part of our mind is like our operating system, running all the time from just before our birth. In early childhood, our mind accepts every information as true, (even if it is not) because there are not yet any existing belief systems based on previous experiences that could contradict the new information.
By the age of 6 or 7, we have a firm set of beliefs that becomes increasingly difficult to change and impact us for the rest of our lives. At this time, we develop the SUBconscience and conscience parts of our brain that carry out instructions from the unconscience, (like an app.)
From that time on, when new information is presented the unconscious evaluates it against existing beliefs, accepting or rejecting it. This is the basis for our perception of the world: or in our sciencey word: COGNITION. It also explains why the experiences from our early childhood remain the most important factor in our lives: driving the bus, as it were, determining our physical and mental wellbeing.
I agree with the author of this article when he drew this conclusion:
"No matter how good one’s external factors such as wealth, friends, and possessions are. If there is trauma (or LIES) stored in our subconscious mind, we cannot find peace. We cannot be truly happy. We cannot live freely. Instead, we will hunt for compensation. We’ll do anything to escape our thoughts. We will develop all kinds of symptoms that distract us from our inner wounds: All types of addiction. Compulsive buying behavior. Overworking. Anorexia. Physical symptoms are promoted, too, such as obesity, cardiovascular diseases, and even cancer just to name a few."*
* Quotes from: https://medium.com/.../the-subconscious-mind-inner-child...
How did all the ingredients end up becoming you?
Are you your personality? Or is that just the persona or the mask you show the world? Are you born with it? Or is something you slip into, like a Halloween costume?
Let's ask Google:
"Personality is the sum collection of all life experiences that have contributed to us being a one of a kind individual. Personality is broad and includes our persona, our character, our emotional defenses, our likes, wants and fears, our cognition, and our memories. Thus, by definition, personality is not completely innate; personality develops."
"What's COGNITION?"
I had to look that up too. The dictionary defined it as " the process of acquiring knowledge and understanding through thought, experience and the senses." That sounded suspiciously a lot like the work of our hunter/gatherer, the unconscience. So that's where the rabbit trail took me:
"The unconscious part of our mind is like our operating system, running all the time from just before our birth. In early childhood, our mind accepts every information as true, (even if it is not) because there are not yet any existing belief systems based on previous experiences that could contradict the new information.
By the age of 6 or 7, we have a firm set of beliefs that becomes increasingly difficult to change and impact us for the rest of our lives. At this time, we develop the SUBconscience and conscience parts of our brain that carry out instructions from the unconscience, (like an app.)
From that time on, when new information is presented the unconscious evaluates it against existing beliefs, accepting or rejecting it. This is the basis for our perception of the world: or in our sciencey word: COGNITION. It also explains why the experiences from our early childhood remain the most important factor in our lives: driving the bus, as it were, determining our physical and mental wellbeing.
I agree with the author of this article when he drew this conclusion:
"No matter how good one’s external factors such as wealth, friends, and possessions are. If there is trauma (or LIES) stored in our subconscious mind, we cannot find peace. We cannot be truly happy. We cannot live freely. Instead, we will hunt for compensation. We’ll do anything to escape our thoughts. We will develop all kinds of symptoms that distract us from our inner wounds: All types of addiction. Compulsive buying behavior. Overworking. Anorexia. Physical symptoms are promoted, too, such as obesity, cardiovascular diseases, and even cancer just to name a few."*
* Quotes from: https://medium.com/.../the-subconscious-mind-inner-child...
The Amygdala to the rescue!
As they say, I've got good news and bad news. Good news is that your brain is working 24/7 time to keep you safe. Your brain has tiny twin assistants with the full time job of safety patrol. It's the part of the brain that's responsible for making those "gut" feelings that weigh in on decision making. When you think: "I don't think that's safe... your A-team is way ahead of you. "You're darn tootin"! It sure wasn't safe when you fell off the swingset, was it?
The Amygdala's official job description is to sense dangers and regulate emotions, such as fear and aggression.
But more important to understand for our journey is that the amygdala is also involved in tying emotional meaning to our memories, reward processing, and decision-making. When the the incident is traumatic, a process of the brain called "Hebbian plasticity" intitiates more neurons to fire electrical impulses in unison making the connection stronger than normal. "Neurons that fire together, wire together."
As they say, I've got good news and bad news. Good news is that your brain is working 24/7 time to keep you safe. Your brain has tiny twin assistants with the full time job of safety patrol. It's the part of the brain that's responsible for making those "gut" feelings that weigh in on decision making. When you think: "I don't think that's safe... your A-team is way ahead of you. "You're darn tootin"! It sure wasn't safe when you fell off the swingset, was it?
The Amygdala's official job description is to sense dangers and regulate emotions, such as fear and aggression.
But more important to understand for our journey is that the amygdala is also involved in tying emotional meaning to our memories, reward processing, and decision-making. When the the incident is traumatic, a process of the brain called "Hebbian plasticity" intitiates more neurons to fire electrical impulses in unison making the connection stronger than normal. "Neurons that fire together, wire together."
The bad news is that the little guys don't always get it right.
Let's say, a little boy is playing in the yard and his mother is nearby reading a magazine. A large dog comes into the yard and the mother, being deathly afraid of dogs, screams, grabs her child and rushes into the house. If this over-reaction is repeated, the connection gets strengthened and that little boy could end up as a phobic who is deathly afraid of dogs and doesn't know why.
The little boy's amygdala did not know that the over-the-top fear response originated with the mom and not the son. So it attaches the emotional bomb to the son's memory: BE AFRAID OF DOGS. If it is repeated (strengthened) it can become a phobia.
Let's say, a little boy is playing in the yard and his mother is nearby reading a magazine. A large dog comes into the yard and the mother, being deathly afraid of dogs, screams, grabs her child and rushes into the house. If this over-reaction is repeated, the connection gets strengthened and that little boy could end up as a phobic who is deathly afraid of dogs and doesn't know why.
The little boy's amygdala did not know that the over-the-top fear response originated with the mom and not the son. So it attaches the emotional bomb to the son's memory: BE AFRAID OF DOGS. If it is repeated (strengthened) it can become a phobia.
Bad Wiring
In addition to creating phobias, the amygdala can also attach bad feelings to non dangerous memories, or good feelings to inappropriate or unhealthy memories. (the beginning of porn addiction)
A good example of this bit of hay-wiring, (although I blush to admit it) is the fact that I've struggled my entire life with procrastination when it comes to housework, especially dishes. It wasn't until I used the "Three Question" process did I discover that the amygdala is capable of attaching negative emotions to something as mundane as loading a dishwasher.
All it took for this ticking bomb was 18 years of my perfectionistic mother complaining that I wasn't loading the dishwasher "correctly" and then "loading on" 40 more of a critical husband dishing out more of the same. (Puns intended) So every time I would have to do the dishes, I would get a "bad" feeling. Funny thing was that I wasn't even aware of it. It was nothing like dread, just enough to make me want to put it off. After I was widowed and continued to procrastinate, I knew it wasn't just passive agressive behavior, there was a real problem. After asking the question, "Why do I procrastinate" during the session, it only took one time, and the lie (you are incapable of doing things right) was uncovered and replaced: Dishes and house cleaning are no big deal, just something that has to be done. Bomb diffused.
In addition to creating phobias, the amygdala can also attach bad feelings to non dangerous memories, or good feelings to inappropriate or unhealthy memories. (the beginning of porn addiction)
A good example of this bit of hay-wiring, (although I blush to admit it) is the fact that I've struggled my entire life with procrastination when it comes to housework, especially dishes. It wasn't until I used the "Three Question" process did I discover that the amygdala is capable of attaching negative emotions to something as mundane as loading a dishwasher.
All it took for this ticking bomb was 18 years of my perfectionistic mother complaining that I wasn't loading the dishwasher "correctly" and then "loading on" 40 more of a critical husband dishing out more of the same. (Puns intended) So every time I would have to do the dishes, I would get a "bad" feeling. Funny thing was that I wasn't even aware of it. It was nothing like dread, just enough to make me want to put it off. After I was widowed and continued to procrastinate, I knew it wasn't just passive agressive behavior, there was a real problem. After asking the question, "Why do I procrastinate" during the session, it only took one time, and the lie (you are incapable of doing things right) was uncovered and replaced: Dishes and house cleaning are no big deal, just something that has to be done. Bomb diffused.
Parents, you may be building brain bombs
What about the parent who screams at their child for not cleaning up their room? They think they are motivating their child to be more responsible, do things as soon as they are told and be obedient. They have no idea that if they continue this toxic behavior that their impatience and frustration will attach a bomb to an emotionally neutral task. Instead of the responsible, motivated adult they thought they were creating, they might end up with a procrastinator who struggles with everyday chores or a perfectionist who beats themselves up for never doing things well enough.
What about the parent who screams at their child for not cleaning up their room? They think they are motivating their child to be more responsible, do things as soon as they are told and be obedient. They have no idea that if they continue this toxic behavior that their impatience and frustration will attach a bomb to an emotionally neutral task. Instead of the responsible, motivated adult they thought they were creating, they might end up with a procrastinator who struggles with everyday chores or a perfectionist who beats themselves up for never doing things well enough.
If you, like the Apostle Paul (and me) are making choices that baffle you, cause problems and wreak havoc in your life, there's a reason. If you struggle to hold your temper, wrestle with anxiety, are envious of your friend's success, criticize your children, belittle your husband or talk smack about your pastor, there's more to it than "you are just human." There's a whole lot going on than you are aware of. In fact, without your knowledge, there's an invisible war going on with your brain as ground zero.
Please hold for message from your Creator...
Since I started journaling, I have often been amazed at the many ways God speaks to me... (when I listen.) One consistent way is through the devotional I use called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. You'll find quotes throughout these lessons because sometimes the reading of the day miraculously speaks about what I'm writing, or concepts I'm trying to wrap my head around. Isn't He an amazing God?
God used today's reading to remind me of an important point I'm missing. I've been pushing the benefits: being free, finding peace, being the best that you can be (all about ME,ME,ME,ME.) But have completely missed the real reason God calls us to walk in the light. As a believer, I have a higher calling: to let the Holy Spirit, who lives within me shine from my life, making God visible to the world around me. That trumps my frustration and bad choices every day of the week. When I am a prisoner to my triggers and I act in a way that sends the wrong message about who God is, I am not being HIS Light bearer, I am head cheerleader for the other team. This message gave me renewed inspiration to do the work to let HIS light shine.
"I AM THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD. Men crawl through their lives cursing the darkness, but all the while I am shining brightly. I desire each of My followers to be a Light-bearer. The Holy Spirit who lives in you can shine from your face, making Me visible to people around you. Ask My Spirit to live through you as you wend your way through this day. Hold My hand in joyful trust, for I never leave your side. The Light of My Presence is shining upon you. Brighten up the world by reflecting who I AM. "
Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
About the road ahead...
Each Lesson will have an assignment. I'm going to be blunt. If you don't commit to do the assignments, you'll be wasting you time reading this or participating in this study. This is not for your entertainment, this is a call to arms, designed to lead you into battle.
I am going to walk you through some difficult terrain. It will require soul-searching and reaching deep into unchartered territory. And you may run up against opposition. In fact, I can almost gurantee it. If you commit to do this, your schedule might suddenly get busier or other unexpected circumstances.
Did I mention you have an Enemy who wants you to stay ignorant? He wants to keep you on automatic pilot. That is the only way he has to defeat you: BY LIES. He's the father of Lies. Don't freak out. You are not in any physical danger, the battle is for your mind. I don't want to attribute more power to him than he has, but I have seen a study group stalled for weeks because nearly everyone in the group had some excuse and couldn't do the final assignment.
Please hold for message from your Creator...
Since I started journaling, I have often been amazed at the many ways God speaks to me... (when I listen.) One consistent way is through the devotional I use called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. You'll find quotes throughout these lessons because sometimes the reading of the day miraculously speaks about what I'm writing, or concepts I'm trying to wrap my head around. Isn't He an amazing God?
God used today's reading to remind me of an important point I'm missing. I've been pushing the benefits: being free, finding peace, being the best that you can be (all about ME,ME,ME,ME.) But have completely missed the real reason God calls us to walk in the light. As a believer, I have a higher calling: to let the Holy Spirit, who lives within me shine from my life, making God visible to the world around me. That trumps my frustration and bad choices every day of the week. When I am a prisoner to my triggers and I act in a way that sends the wrong message about who God is, I am not being HIS Light bearer, I am head cheerleader for the other team. This message gave me renewed inspiration to do the work to let HIS light shine.
"I AM THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD. Men crawl through their lives cursing the darkness, but all the while I am shining brightly. I desire each of My followers to be a Light-bearer. The Holy Spirit who lives in you can shine from your face, making Me visible to people around you. Ask My Spirit to live through you as you wend your way through this day. Hold My hand in joyful trust, for I never leave your side. The Light of My Presence is shining upon you. Brighten up the world by reflecting who I AM. "
Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
About the road ahead...
Each Lesson will have an assignment. I'm going to be blunt. If you don't commit to do the assignments, you'll be wasting you time reading this or participating in this study. This is not for your entertainment, this is a call to arms, designed to lead you into battle.
I am going to walk you through some difficult terrain. It will require soul-searching and reaching deep into unchartered territory. And you may run up against opposition. In fact, I can almost gurantee it. If you commit to do this, your schedule might suddenly get busier or other unexpected circumstances.
Did I mention you have an Enemy who wants you to stay ignorant? He wants to keep you on automatic pilot. That is the only way he has to defeat you: BY LIES. He's the father of Lies. Don't freak out. You are not in any physical danger, the battle is for your mind. I don't want to attribute more power to him than he has, but I have seen a study group stalled for weeks because nearly everyone in the group had some excuse and couldn't do the final assignment.
So...ready to live in COLOR?
Do you want to stop doing what you don't want to do? Do you want to stop longing that your troubles melt like lemon drops? If you do, your Heavenly Father will honor your committment and be with you every step of this journey to freedom, loving and encouraging you.
I suggest that if you are doing this in a group study that you get an accountibility partner. If you are reading it on your own, you find someone that will join you and be there when the going gets tough. Hang in there, it's worth it.
Assignment
Buy a journal or notebook and a good pen. (We are going to do a lot of writing.)
For this assignment, make sure you're alone in a quiet place and clear your mind. If it helps, play quiet worship or soothing music. If you have a to-do list looping in your head, get it out by writing it down and putting it aside. If this is new to you, you may feel anxious or agitated. Give those feeling to God. Take a deep breath and say out loud: Jesus, help me.
Start by writing down this verse:
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Psalm 139: 33
You are going to write a letter about changes you would like to see in your life. Problems that you are aware of and struggle with. It could be a symptom of a deeper problem, like mine. "Why do I make such bad choices?" Or situations in your life, things you do or don't do: "Why can't I stay on a diet?" "Why am I in a job I hate?" "Why can't I get along with my spouse?" "Why can't I get out of debt?"
You can write it like a prayer to God, or a letter to you. It's for your eyes only, so just let it flow. This is the time to LISTEN to God, He knows your heart, He knows your thoughts.
Write down everything that comes to mind.
If you want to dig deeper, you can use this list to pull back the curtain and expose your "shadow." Flaws you would rather ignore. Things you would be embarrassed to admit. God already knows. Here’s a dirty laundry list to get you started:
Anxiety, unforgiveness, jealousy, anger, pridefulness, perfectionism, possessiveness, being critical, selfishness, self-absorbed, self-indulgent, fearful, undisciplined, controlling, domineering, or unmotivated.
This "confession" is between you and God. If you are doing this study with a group, you will never be required to share anything that you have written in your journal, UNLESS you want to.
This is the first step on the right road. Freedom is up ahead.
"Putting pen to paper accesses a deep part of us. Handwriting is a kinetic movement that forms a bridge between the conscious and the unconscious. When we use our motor skills to write out our feelings we connect in a different way than when we express ideas verbally." Robert Jackman
Group Discussion
Each lesson will have discussion questions for those studying in a group setting. These are designed as discussion starters about the lesson. How the discussion unfolds will be unique to each group. If you are believers, start by asking God's Spirit to guide the discussion. (If you are not a group of believers, that may sound a little woo-woo, but trust me, God has some lovely surprises in store for you.) If you are reading this alone, they are something to think or journal about. (Another reminder that sharing personal information is optional.)
1. What do you want or expect to get from this study?
2. Was the information about the unconscious mind and the role of the amygdala new to you? Did it begin to explain some life-long issues you've been dealing with?
3. Do you feel like you have some memories that have emotional bombs attached? If you do, write them down.
4. Was writing about your dark side difficult? How did it make you feel? Was it hard to think of anything you'd like to change or was it difficult to face the fact there is need of change?
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Option 1: Personal Study: Online course for personal or group study $15
Option 2: PLus Personal Coaching: Online course with eight personal coaching sessions $300.00/$37.50 a sesson (Value $600 Regular price: $75 a session)
Option 1: Personal Study: Online course for personal or group study $15
Option 2: PLus Personal Coaching: Online course with eight personal coaching sessions $300.00/$37.50 a sesson (Value $600 Regular price: $75 a session)
- Online Course plus eight weekly, One hour Zoom meetings with the author, Noell Hammer